The Remarkable Leadership Podcast

00:00:08:20 - 00:00:10:01
Kevin Eikenberry
Struggles.

00:00:10:03 - 00:00:39:05
Errol Doebler
Obstacles and challenges. We all face them. Perhaps the question is do those obstacles serve as stumbling blocks or stepping stones on our path to success? How we process and use our life experience dictates our future path. I think we can safely say that. And yet maybe we don't know how to process that effectively. Today we're talking with a person who has had a very unique path and brings us a perspective on obstacles and pain and how to process all of it.

00:00:39:06 - 00:01:04:20
Errol Doebler
For greater understanding and ultimately for greater personal and leadership success. Welcome to another episode of the Remarkable Leadership podcast, where we are helping leaders grow personally and professionally to lead more effectively and make a bigger difference for their teams, organizations and the world. If you are listening to this podcast, you could be with us live in the future on your favorite social channel as we livestream these recordings.

00:01:04:22 - 00:01:40:17
Errol Doebler
You can get information about those and therefore join us to interact with us sooner and get this valuable information and insight sooner by joining our Facebook or LinkedIn groups where you can find out when and where and how. Just go to remarkable podcast dot com slash Facebook or remarkable podcast dot com slash linked in. To do that today's episode is brought to you by our remarkable master classes pick from one of 13 important life and leadership skills to help you become a more effective, productive and confident leader while overcoming some of your toughest challenges.

00:01:40:18 - 00:02:04:15
Errol Doebler
Learn more and sign up at remarkable Master Class dot com. Our guest today is Earl Dobler. You see him next to me. Let me introduce him and then we will dive in. Ariel is one of the few people in the world who has served as a naval surface war fair officer, a Navy SEAL officer, an FBI special agent, a SWAT operator, a combat veteran veteran, and a business founder.

00:02:04:16 - 00:02:23:19
Errol Doebler
He is the author of Ice Cold Leader Leading from the Inside Out. His leadership consulting company, Ice Cold Leader, has taught leaders and individual contributors at every level how to find peace within so they can find the edge they've been searching for. Arrow, Welcome to the show. Glad to have you here.

00:02:23:21 - 00:02:26:04
Kevin Eikenberry
It's good to be here, Kevin. I appreciate it.

00:02:26:06 - 00:02:49:00
Errol Doebler
It's my pleasure. And sorry for the temporary technical difficulties, but we are on track now. So. So, Eric, I normally I often lead with the question. Tell us about your journey. But in your case, that could be the whole show. And it would give away a big part of the book. So we can't really do all that. By the way, everyone, you need to get a copy of this.

00:02:49:05 - 00:03:19:00
Errol Doebler
And even if you only read the first 70 pages, which is about the journey, it'll be worth it. And all I can think is your story should be a movie. Someone has to have said that to you before. But I will do this about the journey. Why do you end up after doing all the things that I described briefly in in your introduction, how do you end up doing or why do you end up choosing to do work around leadership development?

00:03:19:02 - 00:03:36:22
Kevin Eikenberry
Yeah, it's a it's a long journey to that. The I would have, first of all, leadership for as long as I can remember, has been part of who I've been. You know, I used to play youth hockey growing up and I started when I was four years old. So by the time I was like seven, I was like a veteran, you know?

00:03:37:00 - 00:03:56:09
Kevin Eikenberry
And so I was, you know, captain of the team and and, you know, my dad one day before game, he he said, well, what are you going to say to the boys era, you know, seven I mean, what am I going to say to the boys? What you talking about? And he said, Well, you're the captain, you're the leader.

00:03:56:09 - 00:04:15:23
Kevin Eikenberry
They expect to hear from you. And, you know, whatever I said when I went in there, I tried to say something, but it was it was from that moment where I was like, wow, that this is important. If you've got that C on your jersey or you've got that title, people do expect something from you and how you deliver it.

00:04:16:00 - 00:04:40:05
Kevin Eikenberry
So I always took it seriously. You know, I got medically discharged from the Navy, I got into an accident, I got an injury, which you clearly read in the book. I wanted to stay in the SEAL team forever. You know, we moved forward and I was in the private sector for a while in leadership positions there, loved it, and then ended up after 911, jump along with the FBI.

00:04:40:07 - 00:05:03:10
Kevin Eikenberry
And I loved the work of an FBI agent. And, you know, that's where I was attached to the 75th Ranger Regiment for combat operations. It was glorious experience hunting terrorists. But I had a real problem with the culture of the FBI and the general leadership. And to the point where I was having trouble reconciling being a part of it.

00:05:03:12 - 00:05:27:23
Kevin Eikenberry
And, you know, so then you have to make decisions. Okay, well, I can I have decisions. I can. I can't change anything. Right. In an organization like that. And I really didn't have the capacity to change things even in my immediate surroundings. And I said, you can continue to do the work that you like and now you have to shut up about what you don't like about the leadership and move on.

00:05:28:00 - 00:05:55:06
Kevin Eikenberry
That's allowed. Okay? Or let's put your money where your mouth is and leave. And, you know, and so I left. So then I reflected back, you know, before I didn't just leave and go, What am I going to do now? This is all a process, you know, for me to leave and, you know, I, I had a an acquaintance, you know, as I was expressing my my frustration.

00:05:55:08 - 00:06:14:00
Kevin Eikenberry
And I don't know what I can do kind of look at it and be funny. And I'm like, what are you looking at me like that for? You said, I pay a person with not even a quarter of your your qualifications. I pay them a boatload of money to talk about leadership. And I literally said, I go, That's the thing.

00:06:14:02 - 00:06:37:03
Kevin Eikenberry
I had no idea this whole vertical existed. I didn't know. I knew there was a guy named Tony Roberts out there. Right. And okay. And so I said, all right. And then I just started to put together, right? I wrote it down. What are my philosophies and can I share it where they come from and can I back them up?

00:06:37:05 - 00:07:02:10
Kevin Eikenberry
And I felt like I could. And I want I wanted to help people. There are people who want it, want to be great leaders. And I wanted to be able to find them and help them because I felt like I had something really significant to offer. And then later, you know, as I got diagnosed with this traumatic brain injury and then how I moved my way through it and survived without even knowing I had the injury, it was still the same leadership process.

00:07:02:10 - 00:07:17:19
Kevin Eikenberry
So that's you know, that's a nutshell into how I got into what I'm doing now. And it's really I love leadership. I think it is the foundation for everything, and I think I have stuff to offer people. So that's what I went where you go.

00:07:17:19 - 00:07:43:02
Errol Doebler
So we're going to get to those principles that you talk about in the second half of the book in a few minutes. But I would say I'll say this somewhat humbly, that I've been reading books about leadership for literally my entire life, and I've interviewed both on this podcast and in other ways, over 600 people and therefore read in all of those cases their books.

00:07:43:04 - 00:08:05:15
Errol Doebler
I've never read a book with the title Ice Cold Leader until now, and so I really want to go there. The the point is everyone tries to figure out a way to differentiate what they're saying and their what their message is, and which is fine from a neuromarketing perspective, of course, but usually or often we can figure it out from the title.

00:08:05:15 - 00:08:23:04
Errol Doebler
But I don't think anyone can figure this out. Ice Cold Leadership. So tell me why ice cold? I mean, I know. Yeah, but tell people why that's your moniker. Here's the book again, why that's the moniker and why that matters for us as leaders.

00:08:23:06 - 00:08:47:15
Kevin Eikenberry
Yeah. You know, it's so we, we rebranded, we used to be something else. We should be called leader 193 and 193 was the number of my buds we class and it was kind of paying homage to that and it just meant nothing to anybody. Nobody could remember the name. It just meant nothing to anybody except for me. And as we, you know, as businesses grow and you say, okay, great, you know, where are we?

00:08:47:15 - 00:09:09:22
Kevin Eikenberry
How do we get to this next level? That was one of the things the name. And we were, you know, ice cold leader. Just it was one of those things where we didn't have to rack our brains and that that made it feel really good. Right? It wasn't what's going to catch people's eye, what's going to be different, what's going to differentiate ourselves.

00:09:10:00 - 00:09:29:20
Kevin Eikenberry
We already knew how we were different. And, you know, Ice Cold Leader came up in the very beginning of my journey and I had some people advise me say, don't do that, because that sounds very it sounds very cold, right? It sounds very like you don't care about things. And I just, you know, look, you listen when you listen, you learn.

00:09:29:22 - 00:09:58:01
Kevin Eikenberry
And I just said I go ice cold leader. That's that's it. Because that's who we are. Now, why are we ice cold? Leader Well, obviously I do these ice baths, but I do them and I incorporate the principles, both physiological principles and behavioral principles, to my leadership process. And, and first, the physiological stuff we talk about. We know scientifically, right?

00:09:58:01 - 00:10:17:23
Kevin Eikenberry
I bring the science to people to help them understand the absolute importance of the cold. And so when we get into cold exposure, if we get into an ice bath, a cold shower, even if we go out for a walk and it's cold and we take our shirt off or whatever, just have a T-shirt. We know one of the many things it does is it resets our nervous system, okay?

00:10:18:01 - 00:10:45:20
Kevin Eikenberry
It relieves the inflammation from our physiology. And the inflammation we also now knows is the root cause that basically every major disease that plagues us as a society today. So when we can do that, when we can reset ourselves, we are no longer thinking about how bad we feel because of the effects of stress and inflammation, right? We're not like, God, I feel terrible today, or I just feel all bunched up.

00:10:46:02 - 00:11:15:09
Kevin Eikenberry
No, no, no. We can reset ourselves and our mind is clear and now we can think about the process. Okay? Now the process of moving through stressful situations, solving problems that can be our focus. That's the first reason why ice cold leader is is who we are. The second one is there is no better behavioral tool in the world than a big tub of water with £300 of ice in it.

00:11:15:11 - 00:11:41:23
Kevin Eikenberry
Why? Because some of the things that we present to people are the ability to recognize stress and emotions, how you act on those emotions. And then how are you moving through a stressful situation in a way that you want, which is calm or intentional, right? You might make the wrong decision in a stressful situation. That's fine. We can never always make the right decision.

00:11:42:01 - 00:11:52:03
Kevin Eikenberry
But what we want is to make sure we look back on it. Go. No, that was a very conscious decision I made That just happened to be the wrong one. Could you could. You could live with that. Okay. You can live with that. What we have.

00:11:52:08 - 00:11:53:06
Errol Doebler
We are human after.

00:11:53:06 - 00:12:16:16
Kevin Eikenberry
All. Yeah. We have a problem living with is. I just. I just went off half cocked. I felt this way, I acted on it, and now I have to clean up. So to get into an ice bath or a cold shower. So exposure, right. That's an induced panic attack that reminds people what stress feels like. So that's a tool because we're so stressed sometimes we don't even recognize it.

00:12:16:18 - 00:12:47:14
Kevin Eikenberry
You'll recognize that. Okay. And then what I teach people is how to breathe and the science behind the breath and why that works to calm you down so you can sit in £300 of ice like this. That is a metaphor. That is a tool that everybody can use in every aspect of their life, minute to minute. Forget about day to day, week to week, month to month, literally minute to minute.

00:12:47:16 - 00:12:58:01
Kevin Eikenberry
So that is again a nutshell into why we are ice cold leader, because we believe in all the aspects of it and it's just what I do.

00:12:58:03 - 00:13:16:22
Errol Doebler
Since none of us are sitting in an ice bath right now, we can imagine that. I suppose if you're listening to this podcast, you could stop, you could get yourself to take a cold shower, then come back and listen to us again. But those of us live in the store. We can't do that. I'm not dressed for it anyway, so trust me, you don't want to see the camera.

00:13:16:22 - 00:13:40:09
Errol Doebler
If I were. So anyway, we'll go past all of that and say that that one of the things that you just heard from Erol is this idea of awareness, which to me is a big piece of your five elements. If I if I paraphrase and I summarize what I read and your five elements I want to talk have you talk very briefly about the five elements?

00:13:40:11 - 00:14:02:03
Errol Doebler
And we are talking with Earl Dobler, the author of Ice Cold Leader Leading From the Inside Out. And I want to talk about each of the five sort of very briefly, and then I'm going to come back and ask you a couple of questions along. Yeah, but just give people the overview of this process that you're that you're helping people through it.

00:14:02:03 - 00:14:37:12
Kevin Eikenberry
It is it is the process that the brain goes through essentially to solve a problem. Now, the good news for me is I put this process together first and then did all my research and lo and behold, I was like, okay, this is what the brain does automatically anyway, right? So it always works. But no matter what you're doing, whether you're walking into the break room, you know, for coffee at work and you see a colleague you don't like or whether you are the CEO of a business and you have to figure out how to merge two companies together or whether you are a parent who is dealing with a child who's going a little

00:14:37:12 - 00:14:57:16
Kevin Eikenberry
sideways. These are all challenges and problems to be solved. And if we recognize the process in which they are solved, we can be very conscious on each element of that and making sure we're moving through it. So what are they? Right. The first thing is there's always a trigger. Something is happening. I just describe that there is an emotion.

00:14:57:18 - 00:15:23:03
Kevin Eikenberry
You will have an emotion and that is the basis for everything you need to recognize your emotions. Okay, That's the first part because your emotions drive your actions and your actions are essentially what your culture is, right? Culture is made up of the things you do, not the labels you put on. And there's many factors to it. So then we have to have this cultural awareness, right?

00:15:23:07 - 00:15:48:12
Kevin Eikenberry
What do I do? Generally based on that emotion? It could be I lash out when I'm angry, I retreat, I ignore, I delay, I avoid whatever it is, it's something then. So we have to be aware of that. Then we're able to make very conscious changes and decisions about our behavior and something I call guidelines for behavior. Right?

00:15:48:13 - 00:16:11:21
Kevin Eikenberry
Based on what I've seen about myself or about my team through this introspection and awareness, here are two or three behaviors I'm going to focus on that covers that behavioral aspect of it. And then at the end of the day, leaders execute and they solve problems. And they do this by having a plan. There is a planning process.

00:16:11:21 - 00:16:36:03
Kevin Eikenberry
So you have to move through this thing happen. This is how I feel. This is my intuitive action, What is my desired behavior now? What's my plan for getting through this? Okay, that's it. That's what happens every time. And then the final piece is something, you know, I call the resistance, which is used a lot. And that's just basically saying everything I just said is common sense, right?

00:16:36:05 - 00:16:58:06
Kevin Eikenberry
You can't really argue with it. And yet, when we're aware of these elements, we still choose not to do them. Why? Who knows? It's just this unexplained force called the resistance. But if we're aware of it, then we come full circle. We say, I have to still be aware. I am not doing what I know I'm supposed to be doing.

00:16:58:06 - 00:17:19:23
Kevin Eikenberry
I'm aware of it. Now I get to make a choice. I can continue to blow it off. Cool. It's up to you or I can go back to work. So that's once again, I used in a nutshell a lot. That's the process and that is a process that I've used in the most dangerous situations I've come under in combat in the Navy SEALs and the FBI hunting terrorists around the world.

00:17:20:01 - 00:17:30:21
Kevin Eikenberry
It's the process I used to get through my daily life when I was struggling and spiraling from this traumatic brain injury that I didn't even know I had.

00:17:30:23 - 00:17:50:06
Errol Doebler
I find it interesting, having read the book or read almost all of it. Well, well, more than half that, as you looking back on it now, as you describe in the front half of the book, can you tell some of the stories that get us to the back half that even as you're describing them, you're walking through these steps?

00:17:50:06 - 00:18:11:06
Errol Doebler
And I don't know if that was intentional or not, but it's very obvious to me that you were describing the story in walking through these steps that we're taking. You were going through mentally. Yeah. Which I found really fascinating. There are some pieces here that I want us to talk about a little bit more, and I appreciate this.

00:18:11:08 - 00:18:18:18
Errol Doebler
A lot of times it's hard for authors to kind of tighten it down into really just telling us those five things that I hope I did.

00:18:18:18 - 00:18:19:04
Kevin Eikenberry
I hope I.

00:18:19:04 - 00:18:20:20
Errol Doebler
Did a great job. That's fantastic.

00:18:20:20 - 00:18:22:04
Kevin Eikenberry
I could talk about it all day long.

00:18:22:06 - 00:18:41:08
Errol Doebler
And I know what you're like. I absolutely know we could. So but I want to I want to get at a couple of pieces here. And the first thing I want to I want to highlight for everybody is notice how many times I'll use the word awareness. You know, that it's very difficult for us to lead effectively unless we're aware of how we're showing up.

00:18:41:10 - 00:19:05:06
Errol Doebler
Why we're showing up that way and the impact that we're having. It's interesting, Errol, that your background, one of one of my coauthors and colleagues was was the chief engineer on nuclear submarines in the Navy. And he talks about, you know, when when the vessel is in the water, it changes the water. And so he talks about as a leader when we are there, we don't realize we're changing the water around us, but we are.

00:19:05:12 - 00:19:26:03
Errol Doebler
And it's that awareness thing that's so very critical. And one of the things that you and I have in common, not from an experience perspective, but from a belief about leadership development perspective, is the importance of reflection. Yeah. So can you sort of tie together this idea of awareness with reflection a little bit.

00:19:26:05 - 00:19:57:01
Kevin Eikenberry
Yeah. And I appreciate that because without awareness you cannot take advantage of anything if you are not aware that something exists out there for you to seize upon. That's it. It's a wasted opportunity. So likewise, if you are not aware of all of these elements of this decision making process, this problem solving process, you can't make fundamental adjustments or changes without the awareness you're just moving through.

00:19:57:02 - 00:20:20:20
Kevin Eikenberry
Okay. And hoping it all works out when you're aware that emotion this is anger and I'm aware of this anger. And now I'm also aware of the fact that my intuitive action on the anger is to lash out. And I have to now be aware of the fact that that is not I cannot trust that instinct and that is not the right behavior here.

00:20:20:22 - 00:20:42:01
Kevin Eikenberry
Right. So that awareness, it also allows us to go back and make those targeted changes. The result is something we didn't like. I am aware of the process of decision making. Where did I go wrong? I never made a plan. We just started doing stuff randomly. That's why that felt cool. You can go back and you can make the adjustment.

00:20:42:03 - 00:21:07:21
Kevin Eikenberry
And most importantly, and what truly separates ice cold leader from everybody else out there besides, you know, the cold exposure and how we and the physiological stuff and how we use that from a wellness perspective. It is a true process. Okay. It is not. Errol Douglas, as leaders do these three things, I'll name three things that great leaders do.

00:21:07:22 - 00:21:38:12
Kevin Eikenberry
They'll be accurate. The problem, though, is what happens, Kevin, If you already do those things and you're still struggling with so what good am I to you? I'm nowhere. If I put you through a process, you put yourself through a process of always looking at your emotions, always looking at how you act on those things. You begin to now make the targeted changes that are right for you without awareness, you cannot do it.

00:21:38:14 - 00:21:44:11
Kevin Eikenberry
And without the reflection piece, you can't go back and make the adjustment. Simple as that.

00:21:44:13 - 00:22:02:21
Errol Doebler
So you there's a there's a there's a subhead in the book on page 163. It's not a book report. I'm not going to ask you to tell me what it is. I'm going to read it to you and I want you to talk about it because it's so true. And and I don't know if I've ever seen it written quite this way.

00:22:02:22 - 00:22:25:21
Errol Doebler
You said you say if you are not present, then you are somewhere else, which is true and it relates to what you were just saying. So sale of before you that by the way, Andrea, I saw your question and I have I'm planning to go there, so hang with us, Adrien Andrea, because we're going to get to your question in a sec.

00:22:25:23 - 00:22:35:09
Errol Doebler
If you are not present, then you are somewhere else. Why? Why say that? Why does that matter to us in this in relationship to what we're just talking about?

00:22:35:11 - 00:23:02:13
Kevin Eikenberry
One of the examples that I like to give is this thing about multitasking, right? And we've all been in this situation where we walk into the boss and the boss is cranking away on a on an email or something on the computer or might even be on a phone call or have somebody else in the room. And they think that because they're so busy they can do these things all at the same time.

00:23:02:15 - 00:23:30:02
Kevin Eikenberry
Okay, you can't. Because here's the most basic premise. If I'm talking to you and I and you're hearing me okay, and I'm saying all the things you want to hear because you've got your face buried in the computer, maybe what you're not seeing is me talking to you like this. You know, my head, my hands. Okay, That's the cue that something's wrong and you've missed it because you are not there.

00:23:30:02 - 00:23:53:23
Kevin Eikenberry
You're somewhere else. So you can't see the most important thing in this interaction because you're trying to do many things at once. You're nowhere and you're certainly not here. And if you're not here, you can't see the most important thing that's happening. Me talking to you with my head in my hands, I may possess the ability to articulate in a way that makes me sound calm, makes you feel good about what's happening.

00:23:54:03 - 00:24:09:23
Kevin Eikenberry
But when you see me rubbing, doing this logically, if you were there, you're going to go, What? What's wrong? What's that? You. What? And you've now asked the most important question. What's wrong? You can't ask that question if you're not there.

00:24:10:01 - 00:24:39:02
Errol Doebler
It's interesting because to me, the present being present is is, is a present. It's a gift that we can give to someone. In fact, if we give someone our full attention, we're giving them our time. It's the most precious thing we have. We can't we can't manufacture more of that. And when we do that as a leader, to your very example, Errol, I think it's it's critical to our success as a leader to build to build the relationship, to build the trust, to build the things that will help us be successful.

00:24:39:04 - 00:24:54:15
Errol Doebler
Andrea asked about it, and I wanted to talk about it a little bit more as well. The third principle is the principle of guidelines for behavior. Say a little bit more about what that one means. Maybe give us an example.

00:24:54:20 - 00:25:23:13
Kevin Eikenberry
Yeah, I will. So when I talk about things like leading from the inside out, again, I'm very happy with the book. The title, because we didn't have to think right. It really was the culmination of all of these years of putting this together and seeing how the process helps people. And so when I bring people through my course, we start with that, right?

00:25:23:19 - 00:25:46:05
Kevin Eikenberry
That's very personal. Yeah. Well, I don't know what else to tell you, because that's that's the only way it works. And we talk about our own personal culture and they will dig out the things that they are successful in spite of, not because. Right, I multitask and I'm not present. Well, you're successful in spite of that, not because of that, right?

00:25:46:07 - 00:26:05:01
Kevin Eikenberry
It's easy to say, Well, that's what I do and it's a crappy behavior, so I must be because of that. No, it's not okay. I really let people have it, you know, in public. Okay, well, guess what? You're successful in spite of that. Not because that every now and then a group, but chewing is warranted. But as a matter of course.

00:26:05:01 - 00:26:34:03
Kevin Eikenberry
No, it's not. So when people look at that and say, you know what, I can make an adjustment on that. If I if I adjusted that behavior of making sure I'm present as opposed to multitasking all the time, would I get better? Yes, I would. Therefore, that is now my behavioral guideline. That is a part of my personal culture that I am going to focus on to make me better until it becomes habit.

00:26:34:04 - 00:26:35:15
Kevin Eikenberry
Then I can move on to something else.

00:26:35:20 - 00:27:03:02
Errol Doebler
So notice what Earl just did. Everybody, he, he, he, he looked at, he reflected on he was aware of his existing scenarios, what the patterns, the habits, if you will, and said, okay, when I find myself in that spot, what am I going to do different? Because I need to pick a different behavior response, a different behavior when that situation arises.

00:27:03:02 - 00:27:10:14
Errol Doebler
And then so figure out what it is, name it, identify it, and then work to create it as the new habit, right.

00:27:10:15 - 00:27:32:19
Kevin Eikenberry
And then decide what's the behavior that I can focus on that will make me better. And I don't you know, I give people three tops, okay? Because if you're really doing the work, you come up with ten, you don't need ten. You need to find the one, two, maybe three, that if you work those, a lot of other problems are going to go away right.

00:27:32:21 - 00:27:38:13
Kevin Eikenberry
And that's that's that's the key. What was I think I think.

00:27:38:13 - 00:27:45:20
Errol Doebler
About that is everybody has the biggest levers, right? Lots of lots of things you could work on. But if you got these three things to your point, you don't make.

00:27:45:22 - 00:27:46:19
Kevin Eikenberry
Huge.

00:27:46:20 - 00:27:51:21
Errol Doebler
Progress and it's going to have ripples that you are not currently aware.

00:27:52:03 - 00:28:17:06
Kevin Eikenberry
Yeah, well, I have. And again, from the inside out, what most people I work with realize is, wow, my team has truly taken on my personality. I micromanage, I lash out, I do these things. And now because then I you say, okay, now let's put it's your team, your family. They're like they do the same thing. I'm like, thank you.

00:28:17:08 - 00:28:39:09
Kevin Eikenberry
That's the power of leadership. For better or for worse, they are going to follow your lead. You are probably going to have to make the same adjustments you made for yourself, for them. Okay, this is how we do business. And the power of that is not, I guess Kevin read this book and we're going to try to do what's in the book now.

00:28:39:14 - 00:29:00:19
Kevin Eikenberry
No, no, no. Because if you follow the process, you will tell them, Here's what I've observed and here's why it's hurting us, and here's what it would look like if we turned it around. Yep, they will listen because you said, Here's what I've observed and here's the impact everybody's going to go see talking about me, because you are.

00:29:00:21 - 00:29:09:05
Kevin Eikenberry
And that's going to have power. That's and again, that's the beauty of the process. You will find what you need, follow the process.

00:29:09:07 - 00:29:17:00
Errol Doebler
And Andrea is saying, and I think you just focus on the things you struggle with as the place to start, right?

00:29:17:02 - 00:29:25:00
Kevin Eikenberry
Well, it's it's this the things you struggle with, but you may not struggle with being a big jerk. That may not be you, that might become very natural. Yeah.

00:29:25:00 - 00:29:26:14
Errol Doebler
There's the blind spot piece of that.

00:29:26:16 - 00:29:48:08
Kevin Eikenberry
It's not necessarily what you struggle with, the things you do that you are successful in spite of, and that is hard thing to do. But if you put yourself through this emotional awareness and this cultural awareness and you have to have this your honesty and courage going through it right, then you'll see it, man, and you'll see actually the opposite.

00:29:48:13 - 00:29:59:14
Kevin Eikenberry
That's the problem if that comes so easily to me, because it's become a habit. So again, this is really what you struggle with. That could be an easy one, but it's generally a little deeper than that.

00:29:59:16 - 00:30:14:12
Errol Doebler
Yeah. So a couple of things I want to ask Errol before we finish. And and I'm going to shift gears, admittedly, as we start to wrap up our time together. The question that I have for you is what do you do for fun?

00:30:14:14 - 00:30:38:15
Kevin Eikenberry
I, you know, I, I don't have a problem having fun. Okay. So I'm a pretty lighthearted guy, but what I do do to have fun is obviously different than what I used to do, to have fun, what I do to have fun today. And this is going to sound very hokey and cliche, but engaging with my kids on what they're doing is fun for me.

00:30:38:17 - 00:31:03:14
Kevin Eikenberry
Going to their hockey games, listening to them give this summary for their books that they're reading, watching them grow. That is fun to me. So being fully immersed in their life is fun. You know, I like going to see sporting events. I like going to see concerts, right? That's all good. But my fun has become now doing that with my family.

00:31:03:16 - 00:31:22:04
Kevin Eikenberry
You know, look, I am active. We love to ski. And you know what? Every now and then I even get onto the mountain by myself. And I enjoy that because it's a good reflective time. But I don't do it nearly as much. I've got either my wife or my three kids with me. So that is where I am for fun right now.

00:31:22:06 - 00:31:36:22
Kevin Eikenberry
It's an adjustment. If you asked me this question ten years ago, I'd say I like to go out to the bar, have a few drinks with the friends, have some labs, go get a workout and that's all good fun. Yeah, I could still do those things, but that's not what brings me the true joy in my life.

00:31:37:00 - 00:31:53:14
Errol Doebler
I love that. So the question, if we had had a chance to chat ahead, which we didn't, which is fine, I would have this would have been the only question I would have told you ahead of time. So here it is. So what are you reading these days or what's something that you've read recently you might share with everybody?

00:31:53:14 - 00:32:14:02
Kevin Eikenberry
I can. So it's funny you say that because I have recently picked back up journaling and I find it's a very important thing that we do in our family. My wife and I do it, but I used to struggle. I would journal and be like, okay, I don't know what to write today. I would literally journal. I don't know what I write, what to write today.

00:32:14:04 - 00:32:46:08
Kevin Eikenberry
And I'm like, It'll come, it'll come, it'll come. We've recently picked up two books and they're right here. I give you one and I just can't remember the name of the other one. But essentially one of them is the Daily stoic. Okay? And that has that is the philosophy of the Stoics. And what I think Ryan Holladay does is every day of the year he gives a different thought from a stoic and then he interprets interprets it.

00:32:46:10 - 00:33:06:06
Kevin Eikenberry
There's another book we're reading, and I'm in humility, but it's the same concept. It's a thought for the day. And what I do now is and my wife does too. First thing when we wake up, we read it and I just journal my thoughts on that thought and that's what we read. That is truly what I'm reading today.

00:33:06:06 - 00:33:08:01
Kevin Eikenberry
And it's it's been a lot of fun.

00:33:08:02 - 00:33:27:10
Errol Doebler
So inside baseball, everybody, that is what I learned about 400 episodes ago. Why? To ask the person ahead of time. Because they know the book, but they can't remember the book. So if you'll do this for me, if you'll send it to me, we'll make sure we get it in the show notes so it won't help watching us live, but it will definitely help the people who are watching it later.

00:33:27:10 - 00:33:49:21
Errol Doebler
And I'll just say this to everybody, that there are lots of those kinds of books, whether they be stoic, whether it's something that has more of a a more of a spiritual tone to it. There are other there are a whole bunch of them that you might look to. And it's a great strategy to help you with journaling, which helps you get at this reflection and awareness stuff that you were talking about 100%.

00:33:49:21 - 00:34:15:03
Kevin Eikenberry
And it's also like sometimes people don't know, right? Going through this process we just describe. Erol I'm struggling with the behaviors and I would go back to simple because you're not looking hard enough at your emotions and what you're doing. That's okay. But you know what? Try one of these behaviors from the stoic, try to say from the Stoics, try to focus on the fact that you can only control certain things in the things you can't control.

00:34:15:05 - 00:34:32:05
Kevin Eikenberry
You've got to let them go. You cannot spend your energy on that. That is a behavior that if you did, that would probably make you better. Right? So, yeah, written books galore, and I will absolutely send you the other one because the author deserves the credit.

00:34:32:10 - 00:34:47:09
Errol Doebler
And we'll get it in the show notes. And so now, Arrow, the question you've most wanted me to ask from the very beginning, which is, okay, Kevin, tell us, tell, tell us, tell it, give you the chance to tell us more about you and your work where we can find the book, etc.. Where do you want to point people?

00:34:47:11 - 00:35:08:01
Kevin Eikenberry
Yeah, I mean ice cold leader. Com is everything about us. Our courses, you know, our events and things like that. You can also find me at the ice cold leader on Instagram. You know, that's where we focus a lot on the cold exposure and this practice of yoga that we do as well, which we didn't really touch on, which is fine.

00:35:08:02 - 00:35:15:00
Kevin Eikenberry
And then LinkedIn, it's an oral doubler, you know, on the LinkedIn, those are my major platforms.

00:35:15:02 - 00:35:37:18
Errol Doebler
Perfect ice cold leader dot com everybody. Now in my question that I have for all of you who are listening or watching, whenever that might be, whether it's live or whether it's later, it's the question I ask you every single week now what what action would you take as a result of this? And it might be as simple as I'm going to go by Errol's book, which I would highly encourage you to do.

00:35:37:18 - 00:36:10:07
Errol Doebler
But beyond that, what did you take from our from listening to this conversation that you can go apply maybe it's some very specific ideas from the five elements. Maybe it's this idea of what am I successful in spite of question. Maybe it's thinking about how I might journal, maybe it's realizing the need for me to be more reflective so that I can build my awareness of what's going on around me, both inside of me and around me culturally.

00:36:10:13 - 00:36:31:10
Errol Doebler
And then lastly, maybe it is to go take a cold shower, whatever it might be. The real goal here is for you to take action on what you heard because it's then and only then that you will get the value, the true value that you could have gotten out of the last few minutes that we invested together. So let me close by thanking you all for being here.

00:36:31:10 - 00:36:51:09
Errol Doebler
It was a pleasure to have you. I'm glad that we solved whatever technical issue was going on on my end at the beginning and that we we were able to have this conversation. I look forward to it. And we had a great time. And let me tell all of you who are listening or watching, the awareness that you need is that if you found this valuable, there are others that will as well.

00:36:51:13 - 00:37:10:21
Errol Doebler
And so point out this podcast to them later. Invite them to join you. Send a link to invite them. You know what to do, Whatever platform you happen to be watching or listening on, do that and then come back next week because next week we'll be back with another episode of the Remarkable Leadership Podcast. Thanks, everybody.